Trying Hard to Feel Anything But Devastated

Trying to Feel Anything But Devastated

In the movie Julie and Julia, Julia Child talks about trying to feel anything but devastated when she and her husband leave Paris. Why did I choose this quote for my title? Because I will be leaving Canada sometime this year. We made the decision recently that Canada isn’t working out for us, and we’re going to move somewhere else. There comes a time when a country either works, or it doesn’t, and unfortunately, this hasn’t worked out. I’m not shaming myself because I know this can happen to anyone. Just like Julia Child, I’m trying hard to feel anything but devastated.

One thing that makes me feel better is this amazing quote from Call the Midwife. She’s so correct!

Trying to Feel Anything But Devastated
Trying to Feel Anything But Devastated

Feeling Devastated is Normal:

I have felt it every time I have had to say goodbye to another country. It’s a loss, like leaving a relationship. And in that vein, you can describe a country like a person that you are in a relationship with. I’m glad I was too young to remember leaving France. I’m sure it would have been breaking up because circumstances drove us apart, like Ted and Alexis in Schitt’s Creek. Leaving the US the first time was like leaving a comfortable relationship because you wanted more. The second time was more like going back to that comfortable relationship, only to discover that the person had become openly hostile and violent. Leaving the UK was like getting out of a relationship that was underhandedly abusive like being in a frog in boiling water. Leaving Canada feels like being in a great relationship, but there are too many problems.

I read the article “30 Things Every Woman Should Have And Should Know By The Time She’s 30” by Glamour Magazine. Item One on that list is one old partner you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. It’s true for countries as well. The countries I can imagine going back to are France and Canada. The ones that remind me how far I have come are the US and UK. Thank you, next.

What Happened:

As many of you know, we had some major medical drama around Canadian Thanksgiving. Suffice to say, our struggles were just beginning. Financial concerns, medical concerns, a two-year backlog on immigration were compounded by a new Alberta law. This law says that you can’t get covered by provincial healthcare while you are waiting for permanent residence. We still haven’t been able to apply for permanent residence because the application process is backed up too. It’s expensive, and now there is no guarantee we will get it. That was the final nail in the coffin.

Bottom line: When you move to a new country, you shouldn’t be put in a position where you have to suffer. Medical problems and financial problems are already tough enough when you’re abroad without it being compounded. When I say “tough enough”, I mean when you move to another country, you already have to deal with money and health problems on a whole other level because of adjusting to new money systems and a new healthcare system. If systems don’t work in your favour, it’s terrible! It’s days and nights of stress and lack of sleep, crying and tempers (even if you have good communication within your family). I wonder how many people who moved to Canada are in the same position as me. There’s more to the story, but I don’t feel like talking about it right now.

If you’re going to ask me if the Trucker’s Convoy has anything to do with my decision, I’m going to say, “You mean the Fucker’s Convoy!” And secondly, I really can’t deal with that right now. I have too much going on.

Anyway, where am I moving next?

Let’s Play Where To Invade Next:

Like Michael Moore, I am using the phrase “Where to invade next” satirically. If you have seen the movie, you know what I mean. So, without further ado, let’s play Where To Invade Next!

Clue #1: It’s an EU country. So now your odds of guessing correctly are now 1 in 27.

Clue #2: It’s a country that colonized other countries during the Age of Exploration.

Clue #3: After Donald Trump’s Inauguration, other countries made introduction videos welcoming The Donald in his own words. The hashtag #everysecondcounts was trending. The last line of the videos always says, “Listen Donald. We totally understand it’s going to be America first, but can we just say our country second?” It was a satirical rush for second place. What country started the trend of videos vying for second place?

Clue #4: Fill in the blanks for this line from the movie Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. “Even the (blank) army don’t wear (blank).” IYKYK.

If you know the answer, write it in the comments!

47 thoughts on “Trying Hard to Feel Anything But Devastated

  1. I’m sorry things haven’t worked out for you in Canada. I’m sure it feels like a money and energy suck but best to move on and forget about it. Ugh, I get it. It is two years in Oz generally too (without the backlog) before socialised medicine kicks in. I also had to pay for my kids primary school during that time as if they attended a private school. I constantly questioned what the heck was I doing here. I’m still asking myself that and am going on 6 years. I am thinking we definitely have a new country move coming up in our near future. Thanks for sharing your experience, it is inspiring to see you course correcting.

    1. Thank you. I’m sure if I had moved to Canada a few years ago, it would have been different. COVID-19 has exposed so many problems around the world and this is no different. We have learned that a country gives you warning signs that it’s not working and sometimes it’s best to cut your losses. I remember when we moved to the UK (in 2000) it took a while for healthcare to kick in there at that time. I don’t know how it is now. It just feels worse now because of my Mum’s emergency last October and also she needs a hip and knee replacement. It’s exhausting, but it’s great that medical tourism is more socially acceptable. I’m glad you’re feeling like a move will happen in the future for you too. Still, I am happy for you for gettin Australian citizenship. It’s a good thing to be a dual citizen. Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  2. I’m so sorry to hear that Canada didn’t work out for you but I do understand why you came to the decision to move especially since you had been living in Alberta. I really hope you find what you’re looking for in the next country you decide to move to!

  3. Sounds like times have changed since my days of living in Canada. Things in the EU hopefully will be better from the medical perspective. They certainly have been for me. My guess country wise has been said so I’ll be waiting to see with the others! If it is, it’s a beautiful place to be and some English! Man I’ve struggled with no English for the first two years here in Italy.

    1. It’s a really bad time to move to Canada. I feel sorry for people who are either planning on moving here, or waiting for their visas. I also feel sorry for citizens because it’s been tough for them as well. Are you guessing the Netherlands? Find out on my next post if you’re correct! Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  4. Since your comment under my Ecuador post, I’ve been checking your blog every night after work! lol
    I feel sorry that you didn’t like Canada. I feel like there are a lot of reasons behind it, the most important one being bad timing as you mentioned yourself, the other one could be the province you moved to. Here in BC, we have more people who were born outside Canada than here (I think 52% in Greater Vancouver area) and people are a lot more tolerant.
    However, with all that being said, even though I love it here, I’m thinking of moving to either Melbourne or Dubai in about three years.
    Your clues seemed like both Portugal and Netherlands to me. I hope it’s not Netherlands though because they don’t allow dual citizenship (and both your citizenships are too cool to lose).

    1. I do love Canada. It just hasn’t worked out for us. If it wasn’t for the crap and my Mum’s health, we would stay. I do feel like I need a break from Alberta, but as one of my friends said, “Alberta needs a break from Alberta”. I will reveal it on my next post where I am moving to, along with some other things, including what you said about dual nationality. I’m not giving up my UK citizenship considering I went to all the trouble to get it. Melbourne and Dubai sound like good places to move to as well! Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

    2. Btw, I am part of this TCK group that has been really wonderful and I wondered if you might be interested. It’s called TCK Global. Click on the link that says “Join our WhatsApp and Discord Group (for free)”. https://linktr.ee/tckglobal This group has been incredible. We have amazing discussions and events and also if anyone needs help, there is always someone there to support. I wish I had this group earlier in my TCK life!

      1. That’s amazing! You know? It’s weird because my friend and I are starting a TCK podcast and we can definitely get help from people there if we run out of TCK friends to interview! lol
        Thank you so much!
        Can’t wait to read your next post! πŸ™‚

      2. That’s cool. I still think it would be good to get a feel for the group and get to know some people there. I learned that you can never get personal enough when you are doing a million dollar deal and when you’re a content creator, it’s the same thing

  5. Having also lived in several countries, I know how frustrating it can be to encounter administrative difficulties. I am sad to read that it was too hard for you, it was not an easy time. I think Canada had more to offer, but you will still be left with some first hand experiences of what Canadian life can be like. I’m curious to read the next post to see where destiny takes you.

    1. I agree that Canada has a lot to offer, and I will truly miss some beautiful things about it. I will be back though because it is one of my “homes” now. Sometimes I wonder if it was just bad timing. Still, I have no regrets. Hope you’re doing well and thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  6. I’m sorry to hear that things didn’t work out for you in Alberta. The whole immigration system has been under so much pressure due to the pandemic and a push to increase the number of newcomers. It’s also putting a huge strain on the housing market in many areas. I feel sorry for the newcomers (and the next generation of kids). But I’m excited for you to start the next chapter in your journey!! I guess this means that you’ll need to buy a bike!

    1. Well there’s no point in trying to attract immigrants if it’s not going to work out for them thanks to a 2 year backlog and barriers to getting healthcare, among other things! Part of me wants to say to Canada, “Grow up!” Find out if your guess is correct on my next post!

      1. It is such a shame and I’m sorry it didn’t work out due to all the backlogs and barriers. It also doesn’t help that your premier, among others (like ours), are acting like we’ve defeated COVID and this pandemic is over.

        Looking forward to reading about the big reveal!!

  7. I’m so sad that things didn’t work out for you in Calgary. There have been tough times in the city and province for the last three or so years and that probably made it tougher for you. Best of luck in the land of speedskaters? 😊 Maggie

    1. I do feel like this was a case of bad timing. Seriously though, immigration and healthcare need improvements. Those Dutch speedskaters are awesome aren’t they! I’ll reveal the answer in my next post! Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  8. I like the way you describe your relationship with each country where you’ve lived. I’m sorry that your current situation in Canada is untenable. It has been my experience that when we move to another country there are growing pains while we adapt to the new systems governing our health, finances, and housing. Unless you have financial support, you will encounter difficulties in whatever country you choose to live.

    1. Thanks for your kind words. I do agree about growing pains, and yes, finances are at the heart of so many systems in a country. Who would have thought that my Mum getting sick was only the beginning? Btw, I will be sending your thank you card soon! Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  9. So sorry all this shit happened to you. I have lived in this province since 1967 and I no longer feel I belong either. Until Just Kidding and the United Clown Posse are gone, not much will change for the better. I hope the Land of Kaas works out for you. We were only there once, but hope to go back. Stay well and safe travels. Allan

    1. That’s a fair thing to say. If we didn’t have problems tied to immigration, we would likely stay. I shall certainly miss the fresh Alberta air and the snow. Do you mean the Netherlands when you say Land of Kaas?

  10. I can understand how tough it must be to move again and say goodbye to place that was just starting to feel like home. All the best for the move. πŸ‘
    Where to? Hmmm.. I’m going to guess Spain even though half the clues didn’t make sense to me. πŸ™ˆ

    1. Thank you. I had so much hope moving here, and it’s tough to leave. That’s a good guess. Find out on my next post! I actually didn’t want to be too obvious with the clues. Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

Enjoyed the post? Please comment or share with credit! :)